What Is Joy, Really? (Especially When Doubt Creeps In)

Jaja Fortuna
May 13
3 min read

Updated: May 17

Joy. It’s a word that feels soft and bright and warm.

But lately, I’ve been sitting with a different kind of joy—one that whispers, not shouts. One that walks with doubt, not in the absence of it.

As I prepare to launch my podcast, Joy in the Journey, I’ve felt so many things: anticipation, gratitude, excitement… and also some unexpected feelings that sneak in quietly—imposter syndrome, waves of self-doubt, and that quiet question:

“Will this really be enough?”

And maybe you’ve felt that too—when you’re on the edge of something new, stepping into a dream, or simply trying to show up to your life with courage.

Joy Isn’t Always Loud

We often imagine joy as big, bold, and beautiful—celebratory and glittering.

But what I’m learning is that joy often shows up in gentler ways:

In a deep breath after a hard conversation
In knowing you’re showing up, even when you feel unsure
In a friend’s encouragement that says, “I see you”
In trusting that obedience is success—even before the outcome is visible

Joy isn’t about how things look on the outside.It’s not the number of listeners, likes, or shares.It’s knowing you’re doing the thing God placed on your heart—and that is enough.

The Imposter Syndrome Nobody Warned Me About

Can I be honest? Even before my first episode goes live, I’ve already had moments where I’ve wanted to shrink back.

Not because I don’t believe in what I’m creating—but because vulnerability is tender.

Even when you know you’re called, there’s still that voice that whispers:

“Who do you think you are?” “Will this actually help anyone?”“Is this too much… or not enough?”

But every time I bring those questions before God, I feel Him gently remind me:

This isn’t about being perfect. It’s about being present.

Joy in Slowness, Surrender, and Starting Anyway

Just the other day, I was talking with one of my sisters (I have many, and I call some close friends “sis” too). We were reflecting on the beauty of doing one thing at a time—and the peace that comes from enjoying what you’re doing, instead of constantly pushing for more.

For me, joy has looked like:

Saying yes to healing after burnout
Quitting a job last year to heal from the inside out
Creating space for what’s life-giving—quiet time with God, and deep conversations
Holding healthy boundaries around my time and capacity
Feeling scared to start something new… but choosing to try anyway
Doing one thing well, whether it’s nurturing a relationship or showing up to a calling

Sometimes, joy is simply the quiet bravery of trying instead of regretting.

What Is Joy, Really?

For me, joy is:

Obedience in the face of fear
Knowing I’m not alone in the struggle
Seeing God’s fingerprints in small, ordinary moments
Trusting that my story matters—even if my voice trembles when I share it

Joy doesn’t always feel like a celebration. Sometimes it feels like courage. Sometimes it feels like surrender. Sometimes it feels like resting when I’d rather strive.

And I think that’s the beauty of it—joy meets us where we are, and not where we think we should be.

A Gentle Reminder (for You and Me)

If you’re chasing a dream, walking through a hard season, or just trying to show up to your own life—please hear me:

You are not behind.You don’t have to be perfect to be powerful. You don’t have to have it all figured out to be faithful. And you are not the only one asking, “Am I enough?”

You are. Because you are His. And that’s where joy begins.

Your Turn

So, let me ask you:

What does joy look like for you right now? It might not be loud. It might not be clear. But I promise, it’s there. Let’s redefine joy together—one quiet “yes” at a time.

With grace and gratitude,

Jaja